I Heart Melbourne

Halloween night, Mum and I took the Flyaway bus out to LAX, where we found ourselves in a queue for 2 hours before we reached the check-in counter.  There we were greeted by a swarthy young man wearing a very saucy serving wench outfit (complete with blonde wig and fake boobs bobbing out of a bustier), which was almost worth the wait.  By that time we had little more than 30 minutes to get through security before our plane was due to start boarding.  It's such an unnatural thing to climb into a machine that can hurtle through the sky, a crude emulation of a giant bird, and emerge 15 hours later on the other side of the world, tired, dehydrated, and slightly disoriented.  But worth it. 

For the record, I watch Dinner for Schmucks (although I snoozed through much if it, which shouldn't be taken as criticism, Jemaine Clements was HILARIOUS as the sexy beasty artist), SATC2 (the perfect thing to watch on a plane, because you don't need to hear most of the dialogue, the outfits are really pretty, and it's mostly a pile of luxury brand crap) and a couple of episodes of Nurse Jackie (a pity not to catch all the dialogue there, such a great show). 

We sat next to a very Grumpy Woman, who shall hereafter be referred to as Grumps, for that amuses me.  Grumps had the aisle seat, which meant Mum and I had to disturb her every time we wanted to stretch our legs or go to the toilet.  And it was always necessary to disturb her as she never got up of her own volition.  How does anyone sit in cattle class for 15 hours and not have a burning need at some point to stand up and move around, let alone relieve one's bladder?  Grumps was lumpy, avoided eye contact, never acknowledged a 'thank you' and complained about having to move.  Too bad, Grumps, you're in the aisle seat.  And it's not like Mum and I were up and down every 10 minutes.  It seemed Grumps was determined to be miserable.  And she smelt bad.  She should have stayed home.  Seeya Grumps, your couch will welcome you with open arms.

Oh Melbourne, how I love you.  I had a coffee at Melbourne Airport while Mum and I waited for our ride; even the takeaway brew at the arrivals terminal was better than the average excuse for a coffee one encounters in LA.  I'm beside myself with excitement to be here, busily making plans to catch up with as many friends as possible.  This morning I took a train into the CBD to meet a friend, and had a coffee and croissant for breakfast at one of my favourite little cafes.  Bliss.  Then a tram to Carlton to meet another friend, trundling past charming old terrace houses and shops with wrought ironwork verandahs and a local pub on every corner.